Religious Apologetics 101

I know it’s only been a few days since my last post and I don’t want to “overload” anyone, but I had posted this on tildeb’s blog and figured I’d make a post out of it here.  I feel that it’s a very handy guide to identifying the tactics of the Religious Apologist.  Feel free to message me if you think something needs correcting and/or additions are required.

Religious Apologetics Standard Operating Procedure

Step 1) Intentionally misrepresent any agnostic/atheist/secular viewpoint to start the smear. Do your best to generalize.
Step 2) When/if called out on it, blame any offence taking/misunderstanding on everyone but yourself – point out that the person reading the aforementioned misrepresentative garbage and lies has likely “read it the wrong way” or “taken it too much to heart” and that they just need to “lighten up”.
Step 3) If you must admit to doing something wrong/unethical/immoral, back pedal if you can.  You don’t have to, but it doesn’t hurt.  Then offer a half hearted apology and make sure you put lots of qualifiers on it.  So many qualifiers in fact that it becomes essentially meaningless.
Step 4) At all costs, avoid discussing the actual reason for the calling out (i.e. the actual lies/misrepresentation/etc). NEVER, EVER admit that you might have lied or misrepresented other people’s view points or even that you meant what you actually wrote – if the conversation doesn’t end there and the other person tries to continue it – go back and repeat steps 2 and/or 3.

Step 5) If the conversation STILL continues, turn it around on the person accusing you of spreading lies and misrepresentative garbage. Tell them they’re an “angry atheist” who needs to “get over themselves”. Remember – this is NOT your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. They’re just being hateful.
Step 6) If the other person still tries to continue talking about it you can a) ban him/her if it’s your own forum or b) stop replying if it’s a forum not controlled by you.

Additional tactics – to be used at the discretion of the religious person, depending on how much of this bunk they actually believe.
A) Don’t be afraid to let your sense of superiority shine through. It’s ok to talk in a condescending way to the atheist/agnostic/secularist. Your reasoning skills and grasp on logic is far superior to those guys. After all, you’ve got the mystery of the entire universe all figured out. What the hell do these people know?! Don’t forget, you have the moral high ground. You know where morals come from and who gave them to you. These guys are just base animals that would kill you at the drop of a hat because they don’t believe they have anyone to answer to.
B) Feel free to tell the atheist/agnostic/secular person that their immortal soul is in grave danger because they haven’t accepted the One True God as their lord and savior. Don’t be afraid to tell them that they are going to hell – hopefully that will scare them into doing the right thing. After all, you really are just doing them a favour. However, some of them are so wicked and evil that they won’t listen to you. That’s because they are devil worshippers. There’s nothing you can do about that. Don’t worry, God will fix their wagon in due time.


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